by Pierce Nahigyan

An account of the long unhappy courtship of Anne Eyres would make for long unhappy reading. Such designs as I have to entertain do not permit me to indulge myself in that forbidding geography. We will take the direct route to the flourish: She ran away with the bellhop not four minutes into the honeymoon, two minutes after the consummation. She ran away with the bellhop’s brother the next day. The next week, outside Tucson, she absconded with the brother’s convertible. By Saturday she was in Vegas, in debt, drunk, and famous. By Sunday she was married to America.

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