Posts tagged ‘office’

01/19/2012

Abluent

by Pierce Nahigyan

I worked in the little office in downtown Coopersville for four years, after a brief stint as a cold caller in Houston. I worked hard at my job, usually staying the night, late into the night, calling folks in four timezones with great deals on real estate.

There was an old man who worked with me, Alan Yuri; he’d been with the company all his life, or so I imagined. He was convivial. But during my second year with the company, Alan’s age began to show. Near to his retirement, the weight must have been greater than he was willing to let on.

One night, hours after everyone else had gone to sleep, it was only Alan and I hunched over our desks. The arc lights burned above the street that faced our building, and the sound of cars diminished over the span of hours. When they passed, they passed alone.

Alan let out a moan. Fried on coffee, I leapt up, thinking he may have fallen over, but when I came to him he was still at his desk, staring at his telephone, as if he’d sat there for a year before I’d reached him. At first I thought he was sick, but that wasn’t the case. He smiled at me weakly and played with a bent paperclip. His old lips smacked as he cleared his throat.

He always spoke very politely. “There must be some abluent to scour the grease from this task, and these tasks moreover,” he said. “There must be some element, much like a key, that rectifies that loose fragment in me that cannot be satisfied with upholding the rest, some key which bolsters the loose piece and constricts it against the greater structure, turns my senses apart from this dirty place that I inhabit, and makes happy what is sullen, cleanses the scum from my eyes. For all I see is mediocrity and its wages.” He bent the paper clip, and bent, too, his mouth into a conspiratorial smile. “I should have left much sooner. Or a long time ago.”

He pressed his pale lips together and sighed. Then he reached for the phone.

12/27/2010

À bas

by Pierce Nahigyan

We all loved Harold. He was mostly a quiet guy – but funny, amiable; he had a girlfriend he told warm stories about when you asked him how he spent his holidays; a family he wasn’t very close to but never bothered you with the details. A well-rounded employee overall. He didn’t work with the boys in creative but he could be called on to drum out some extra tags for a flat billboard or a subway eyecatch. Mostly he just worked the backend searches and kept our public site clean while streamlining the bugs in our internal network.

Then one year old Mike McMurty decided he was going to switch the whole operation to a new complex in Iowa. It was a tough move to make but the company was providing for all of the key personnel to transition and they’d take our houses at market value or pay us the difference from the sale. It was a smart move from a business perspective. They said later that Harold was even due for a raise and an office in the new Iowa IT department. But, and this became apparent only on the Friday after the announcement, Harold had something against Iowa.

Old McMurty had just finished his big speech on total sales efficiency and assuring the managers and the rest of us that everyone was making a brave but lucrative decision. And Harold said, “Iowa, Mike? Is that what we’ve been reduced to?” Old McMurty scowled at Harold as if the skinny 29-year-old had slapped him. He began to say something but Harold cut him off:

“À bas this wretched relocation, the temerity explicit virulent amongst these timorous fools. Fie! Fie, elder McMurty, to thy scabrous crown scabrous age now met in bleak, pale certainty, mottled. Gone is the unblemished acumen that once decorated thee invisibly, replaced with visible malady, future terrors as rank on thy shoulders as an anfractuous sewer, spilling out thy insecurity wet and weeping weather attendant wherefore these buffoons clamor when speech fails them against your odious machinations. Iowa? Cost-effective? Five-year-plan? You billowing tumor of feculent tumescence, I submit my resignation. Effective forthwith!”

Harold then filed his reports and quietly left the building.

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